Why do we feel guilt?
We feel guilt when we know that we have done something wrong. When we have acted in a manner that does not align with our inbuilt morality and natural humanity. I commented on this in an earlier post titled “Understanding morality and humanity”.
Romans 12:2 – Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Of course we may have a distorted view of what is right and wrong but I believe that deep down we know when we are wrong. It is when we are exhibiting non-Christian values. For example when we are being sarcastic, intolerant, hypercritical, aggressive, unfaithful and bitter. A more extensive list that compares Christian and anti-Christian values is in my post titled, “Christian Values”.
The attitude of Jesus is illustrated by that post. It is also evident in one of my favourite bible verses, which describes the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
The impact of not admitting guilt
A distorted view of what is right and wrong arises when we are seeking to avoid facing reality. This may be subconscious and give rise to projection of our faults onto others. We blame them for the things that deep down in our psyche we know we are doing wrong. It is our means of protecting our self-interest. I have previously commented on this in my posts titled, “Being honest and open-minded”, “Tolerance and acceptance” and Controlling anger”.
If you don’t admit your faults you will remain bitter, disillusioned and negative. Yet that is what we do in order to avoid feeling guilty. We don’t like to be wrong and want to feel justified for our behaviour.
What is the impact of holding onto guilt or shame?
Holding onto guilt or shame is quite damaging. It can make you feel anxious or depressed and affect both your mental and physical health. When you hold onto guilt or shame you are focussing on past failures and this prevents you from moving forwards with confidence.
We can recognise when we are acting in a wrongful or damaging way. It’s when we feel negative things like anger, discomfort or frustration. That should be the trigger that makes us realise that our lives can be better if we bring about a change in our behaviour. Christian belief provides a sound mechanism for bringing about the required changes.
We will always experience the negative effects of wrongful behaviour. That is the case whether or not we accept our behaviour as wrong. We will either feel guilt and shame or hold onto the negative behaviour that we believe is justified.
Blaming others
It’s always easier to see faults in others rather than in ourselves. For that reason we find it easier to see someone else as responsible for our poor behaviour. It’s much easier to take ownership of our behaviour when we are doing something honourable.
Proverbs 21:2 – Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.
This failure to recognise our faults and opinions as wrong stems from us acting in self-interest. We need to protect our sanity and cannot hold conflicting “truths” in our mind. This was covered in my post titled “Being honest and open-minded”. In order to critically self-examine we need to detach from self-interest and take the viewpoint of an observer. We can do this if we look at ourselves in a detached spiritual sense (see my post titled “The power of detachment”).
Asking for forgiveness
As I have said, there are problems when we fail to accept blame for our poor behaviour. There are also problems when we hold onto guilt or shame. So what can we do?
It’s important that we make an effort to continuously improve by modifying our behaviour where necessary. Also, it’s worthwhile to lose any feelings of guilt and shame. These are, as I have said, quite damaging and a mechanism is needed to deal with those negative feelings.
Fortunately Christian belief provides a means of renewal. But that’s only if you admit your faults and pray for forgiveness. This can eliminate your guilt, shame and negativity. It’s not nice to be called a sinner but we all do things that are wrong (see my post titled “Judgement”). God knows this but accepts us all if we repent and by his grace we can achieve absolution.
Romans 3:23 – For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Ephesians 2:8 – For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
Confession
When we confess our sins it is important that we genuinely regret what we have done wrong or what we have failed to do. We should trust in the Lord Jesus who took the punishment for all our sins when he was crucified on the cross. If we pray in his name and truly repent we can receive forgiveness.
Luke 15:7 – Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Now that doesn’t mean we can simply rely on forgiveness and just go on sinning without any consequences. After all, on the final day of judgement we will receive whatever is just in God’s eyes.
So although we may change none of us will achieve perfection. We are all dependant on the grace of God if we are to be with him for eternity.
Modifying behaviour
Making improvements to our behaviour is difficult when we are trying to do it alone. But always remember that God is with us and if we accept him we can achieve miracles.
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