It would be possible under the title “Dealing with loss” to cover a wide range of things. For example, the loss of innocence, the loss of possessions, the loss of employment or the loss of someone close to you. Any loss will apparently cause you to go through stages of denial, anger, grief and acceptance. But I wish to deal with the impact of loosing someone close to you.
Loosing someone special
I have only seen one person die. That was my father and it was for me an extremely traumatic experience. The fact that he died peacefully in a hospital bed whilst surrounded by family members did not ease the pain. It was difficult seeing him slip away knowing that I would no longer be able to laugh with him and experience his love and understanding.
At that time I was not a religious person so I did not have the coping mechanisms that Christianity provides. None-the-less I loved my father and he left a large void in my life. I often see him in my dreams and now know that one day we will meet again in heaven.
My father had painted several works of art and had an exhibition of his work before he died. I had the honour of introducing him to the attendees at the opening of the exhibition. During that introduction I publicly stated that I loved him as he was my dad. That’s something I was happy to say and it was only after he died that I realised the importance of expressing those feelings. I would have regretted it for the rest of my life if I had not said that.
Christianity provides us comfort
It’s not easy loosing someone you are close to and I know that we all suffer greatly when that occurs. Memories often come flooding back and that makes us sad. Of course, we must go through the normal stages of grief but our Christian belief provides a means of acceptance. The belief in God, the mercy of Jesus and an eternal life offers us comfort. It means that we understand that our separation from our loved one is not permanent.
Matthew 5:4 – Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
A recent experience
My 85 year old brother in law needs ongoing support as he has limited mobility. Some of that support is provided, at a cost, through specialised service providers subsidised by government. The support given by his neighbours, however, is what means the most. That support is voluntary and it shows the caring nature of people in his community.
Recently one of his neighbours died due to cancer. She was one of the most charitable people I know and she had kept her cancer diagnosis a secret for the past 18 months. Only her husband knew and he had maintained secrecy at her request. She had apparently said that she wished to live out her life in the best possible way and to be happy doing so.
Now what made her happy was clearly being a good person and caring for others. She had often assisted my brother in law by helping him with various things that would make his life better.
Matthew 22:37-39 – And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself.
It is a strange coincidence that her name was Mary because she exhibited all the characteristics of someone guided by God. Probably the greatest gift she gave was friendship and caring about his well being. That sort of caring and love is something that we all cherish.
Mary’s funeral service
At her funeral yesterday the impact of her life on those who knew her was very clear. In preparation for the day the funeral celebrant said that she had asked the family to describe their loved one. They had used so many words that illustrated her loving, caring and charitable nature not only towards her family but also to everyone she met. It reminded me of the description of the impact of the Holy Spirit in the following bible verse.
Galatians 5:22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Those characteristics were evident in our deceased friend and neighbour Mary. It was also evident based on the large number of people in attendance and the Christian messages throughout the service. Good people like this will be remembered.
Mary had done her part to leave the world a better place than when she entered it. In closing the service it was said that those present should not only remember her but also that they should continue her legacy. The accolades for Mary were really impactful. What a wonderful legacy and what a wonderful way to be remembered by all who knew her.
Being remembered with love is so much better than the alternative.
Proverbs 10:7 – The memory of the righteous is a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot.
For new readers of my blog
If this is the first of my blog posts that you have read I urge you to go back to my first posts and read them. They are listed in chronological order at the bottom of my posts tab.
My early posts do set out why I believe that Christianity is such an effective approach to life. After I had my epiphany I became a true believer in Jesus and the impact of the Holy Spirit. My life feels so much better now that I am mixing with and recognising the goodness in other people. Previously I was feeling quite negative about many things so my focus has changed entirely. I now wish to spread some goodness in the world, which is really needed.
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