Love

I love my wife. Now why is that? She is a really good person, rarely complains and has a caring nature. She tolerates me and is not demanding. Little things satisfy her. Not that I have a little thing but she really appreciates any small thing that I do for her. I respect her greatly and have always wished that I could be more like her. I am not suggesting gender reassignment rather that I wish I could be so kind.

There are different kinds of love. There is romantic or sensual love, love of family and love of friends. These are all forms of love that deal with how we feel in our human environment.

But the greatest form of love appears at the spiritual level. That is sacrificial love, which is the form of love that God has for each of us. This was demonstrated when Jesus Christ, the son of God, died on the cross to pay for our sins. It was the ultimate sacrifice and ensured that the required justice was served. God is just and loves us all.

John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Lost love

My first love was unbelievable. It was love at first sight and I fell really hard. She was so beautiful but I didn’t really know her. I was too immature yet was certain that she was the one for me. That never happened and I was devastated when we parted. I still hold the memory of that romantic love in my heart.

It was later when I first met my wife. We got on really well and had lots of laughs. Not that she had a great sense of humour but I knew that if I was joking I felt comfortable and was being myself. It’s so important to connect with someone where you can be yourself.

Why can we fall in love so quickly?

All too often we deal with people at a superficial level. We are strongly Influenced by our initial reaction. When we first meet that is all we know and our reaction is based on self-interest. We want what we perceive as the best but don’t allow enough time to discover the inner person. That’s why communication is so important in relationships. It’s the only way to really understand your partner.

We all need love

We all need and seek love. It may be our quest to rediscover the love we received and felt as a baby. Or, it may be our need for the love that we never received when we were young. Either way I am certain that we all thrive when we know that we are loved. It’s a basic need that offers protection and makes us feel worthy.

In an effort to appear attractive so many people these days rely on plastic surgery and botox. That’s a failure to accept ourselves as we truly are. It demonstrates that we feel inadequate and put too much emphasis on outer beauty.

Sure, there are situations where people have deformity or have had medical procedures and need plastic surgery. But seeking out those procedures purely in the belief that it is what defines you seems wrong. It’s your inner beauty that truly defines you. 

The bible defines inner beauty In 1 Peter 3: 3-4 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as braided hair, the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”.

Love and anger

In one of my earlier blogs I wrote about anger. Frustration and anger can occur even with someone you love. So bear in mind that when arguing we all tend to protect our position. We are defensive and may say or do things that can be destructive to our relationship. 

In my view it’s better to be honest and not to hide your innermost feelings. If you bottle-up your anger to avoid confrontation it can erupt suddenly at some time in the future. It’s like a pressure cooker building up a head of steam. I’m not suggesting that you express your anger by having a smaller eruption. Just treat it as something that is undesirable. Recognise that you will be a better person if you avoid expressing your anger in a destructive way.

Hold your love at the forefront. Realise that there are benefits in letting go of self-interest. In that way you can relax and observe your behaviour at a more spiritual level. By that I mean firstly recognise that you are a human body living in this world. Then recognise that you have a spiritual side and can therefore detach from self-interest. Effectively you “step outside of yourself” to observe your own behaviour. Take responsibility for how you are reacting and behaving.

It’s great if you have read this blog to this point. But if you are not convinced about what I am saying then consider how much your marriage and your family mean to you. Remember the statement that, “What God hath joined together let no man tear asunder.” 

Love everyone

Our need for love can be satisfied if we realise that God loves us all. His love is unconditional and he accepts our faults. He calls for us to love others in the same way.

John 13:34. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”

By focussing on the well being of others we are being outward looking. We detach from selfish pursuits and this makes our life easier. It gives us peace and enables us to work on and address our faults in a more detached way.

1 John 2:15 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

Now that last quote is significant. If we become obsessed with our possessions and status we give preference to ourselves. This distracts us from caring for other people and our spiritual development.