I thought that it was time to reiterate some of the key points that I have been making in many of my posts so far. I am doing this because I know that when reading material like this there is a tendency to only read the latest blog post. It’s also easy to fail to see the wood for the trees, or as some would say, “fail to see the forest for the trees”.
So what I will do is to provide a summary of those points as follows:
Our human nature
When discussing the topic, “Being honest and open-minded” I commented that the human brain is unable to hold, at the same time, two opposing truths. So, we only hold onto one “truth” and that is “our truth”.
We all notice things that support our mindset or perception (see post, “Our awareness”). By seeking out only things that validate “our truth” we confirm, at least in our own minds, that “we are right”. This prevents us from noticing and accepting contradictory views. It can be difficult to let go of what we consider to be true.
Although we all do things that are wrong it is human nature to believe that we are correct. So it is hard to recognise when we need to bring about changes in our behaviour. I commented on this in my posts titled “Why it can be difficult to change” and “Bringing about change”.
Our resistance to change stems from a need to be secure and we are secure in what we know. It’s natural for us to be comfortable with what is familiar. It’s our comfort zone. There is, however, also fear of the unknown. So it seems that there is resistance to change even where it would be for the better.
How we react
It was noted (see my post “Guilt and confession”) that when we fail to recognise our faults and opinions as wrong we are acting in self-interest. It is our way of protecting ourself and maintaining “our truth”.
Your reaction to what others do or say may seem automatic. It is certainly a reaction based on what you hold in your mind as “your truth”. But you do have control over what you will do (see my posts titled “Communication” and “Controlling anger”). Remember that it is your brain that decides how you will react or communicate. So pause for a split-second and make a decision about whether your reaction or your communication will be constructive or destructive.
Changing our focus
In my page titled “What Christians believe“ I noted that everyone has the capacity to react in a bad way so something more than belief in our own goodness is needed. Christianity is a strong mechanism for internal transformation and the avoidance of evil.
We all have a body, soul and spirit. Most of the time we focus on our human or bodily side. However, it is more important to focus on our spiritual side. If we become more spiritual we can examine ourselves as if it is from an outside perspective. We can then more easily modify our behaviour (Refer to my post, “The psychology of belief”).
Taking on the mindset of an observer allows you to critically assess your behaviour. If you do this and view your faults as driven by the devil you detach from personal responsibility. You will not then try to defend your position in your own mind. Turning away from negative behaviours is a lot easier with that approach (see my posts titled “Controlling anger” and “The power of detachment”).
When we focus on self-interest and the negative aspects of our earthly life we become anxious and stressed. If we detach from these things we can find inner peace.
The power of detachment
- It’s not about me
- Don’t take things personally
- Let go of any defensive reactions
- Be an observer
- Note and correct any faults that you see in yourself
- Focus on caring for others
Our Christian mindset
The first great commandment is, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)
If we reduce the importance we place on our human existence we can let go of selfish desires. We are also more accepting of traumatic experiences. Christians believe that God is watching over them and will give them refuge. This personal connection to a loving, just and caring being is very reassuring (see my post titled “Judgement”).
Provided we truly believe in God we are able to detach from our human self and become more spiritual. I believe that it is this aspect of Christianity that brings us peace and acceptance of our lot in life. It means that we become less self focussed and more caring towards others.
The messages given by Jesus were about things such as love, respect, faithfulness, patience, goodness, gentleness and self-control. It led people to feel trust, harmony and peace rather than anger, fear, intolerance and lack of acceptance (see my post titled “Tolerance and acceptance”).
It’s not about me
If someone speaks badly to you, even if they are being critical of you, don’t take it personally. You can only do this if you remember, “It’s not about me”. They may be having a bad day and going through a difficult time in their life. Appreciating this and reacting in a more sympathetic way is a better reaction. This will demonstrate your adherence to the second commandment, to “Love your neighbour as yourself” (see my post titled “The psychology of belief”).
Letting go
It’s good to let go of excessive self-interest, our cravings for more earthly things and puffed up prideful behaviour. Letting go relieves us of stress and makes us more open to appreciate the simple aspects of life. We then focus on what’s important like family, friends and the beauty of the natural world.
Most importantly, we need to let go of our ego. An unchecked ego can lead to excessive pride or self-belief. Our ego makes us crave validation of our worth and the approval of others. We need to let go of it as it not only makes us feel superior but also makes us feel that we are the best one to be in control.. How can we let go and trust in God if we believe that we know better (see my post titled “Trusting God”).
Feeling true peace, harmony and love
This is possible but it requires true heartfelt belief in God and a desire to become a better person. It also calls for appreciation of Jesus Christ as a perfect example of what you strive to be.
If you have faith, trust in God and belief in Jesus Christ then by God’s grace and forgiveness you will ultimately have a place in heaven.
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